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Anne 1

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Script: Part 6

SCENE: Barry drawing room.

AUNT JOSEPHINE: What? Come to finish the job?

ANNE: Sorry I startled you, ma'am.

AUNT JOSEPHINE: Who are you?

ANNE: Anne of Green Gables and I've come to confess.

AUNT JOSEPHINE: Confess what? I'm not interested in the confessions of assassins who masquerade as little girls.

ANNE: It was all my doing, Miss Barry. Diana would never think of such a thing as racing to a bed and jumping on it. She's far too lady-like, whereas I am merely an orphan who doesn't know any better. So I think you ought to forgive Diana and let her have her music lessons back.

AUNT JOSEPHINE: Oh, you do, do you?

ANNE: Yes, ma'am.

AUNT JOSEPHINE: Do you have any idea what it's like to be wakened from the few hours of precious hours of sleep granted an old woman in a strange bed by two ferocious, wild girls landing on her head?

ANNE: I don't know. I can imagine it must have been terrifying in the extreme. And if you had any imagination you could have put yourself in our place.

AUNT JOSEPHINE: I haven't been in your place for forty-seven years, thank you very much.

ANNE: Don't you have any imagination, Miss Barry?

AUNT JOSEPHINE: At my age, imagination is a threat to life.

ANNE: Well, we honestly didn't know you were in there, and you scared us half to death. You should just imagine how exciting it was going to be for me to sleep in a spare bedroom, reserved for important company such as yourself. As it was, I had to sleep with Minnie May, and you don't know how she kicks. Mine was the sleep of the bitterly disappointed, Miss Barry. I was forced to lie awake all night with the knowledge that I had cost Diana her career as a world famous concert pianist.

AUNT JOSEPHINE: I suppose your claim to sympathy is as valid as mine. Do you know what I am composing here, Anne of Green Gables?

ANNE: I'm sure I don't, Miss Barry.

AUNT JOSEPHINE: It's a note expressing my outrage to Diana's parents. The trouble is I don't feel outraged anymore. So, what do you suggest.

ANNE: Perhaps if Diana apologized, which she's too frightened to do at this moment.

AUNT JOSEPHINE: I have a better idea. Suppose I reinstate her music lessons in exchange for you coming to visit me in Charlottetown on occasion?

ANNE: Me, Miss Barry?

AUNT JOSEPHINE: Yes, you, Anne of Green Gables. Diana can come along as well. You amuse me, and precious little in this world amuses me at my age.

ANNE: You seem a very interesting old woman to me. You're not an old ogre at all, are you? I didn't mean that. Excuse me, Miss Barry.

AUNT JOSEPHINE: I most certainly am an old ogre, and don't you let on any different. Will you come and see me? Then go tell Diana she can be a concert pianist after all.

ANNE: Thank you, Miss Barry. We appreciate your making up your mind so swiftly.

AUNT JOSEPHINE: Good day, Anne-girl.

SCENE: The Hallway.

ANNE: You wouldn't think so to look at her, but she is definitely a kindred spirit, Diana.

SCENE: The Barry pond.

DIANA: [reading from letter] "Please find enclosed, two silver bagels. One for you and one for the Anne-girl. I want to become better acquainted with you both. If you come to town for a visit, I will put you up in my very sparest of spare rooms. Yours very truly, Aunt Josephine Barry."

ANNE: You know, Diana, kindred spirits aren't as scarce as I used to think.

SCENE: The schoolhouse.

MISS STACY: Anne, do you intend to daydream during the Charlottetown exam? Five minutes, class.

SCENE: In carriage on the way to Aunt Josephine's.

DIANA: Well, don't worry. In two days, it will all be over.

ANNE: This is one of those rare moments when not even my imagination can solve my anxiety.

SCENE: Aunt Josephine's house.

DIANA: Hello, Aunt Jo.

AUNT JOSEPHINE: Diana. So, you've come to see me at last, you Anne-girl. Mercy me. You're both so much better looking than you used to be.

ANNE: I'm sure Diana is. My hair is still red.

AUNT JOSEPHINE: Come in, come in, John. Take the bags right upstairs. Wipe your feet.

MR. BARRY: Aunt Jo.

AUNT JOSEPHINE: You must be tired from your trip. Nancy will prepare your bath and look after you. I suppose you want to cram for your exam tonight.

ANNE: Miss Stacy made me promise not to open a book, so I won't get the jitters.

AUNT JOSEPHINE: In that case, we can have a leisurely dinner after you've freshened up. And following your exam tomorrow, I've planned a tremendous surprise. Nancy, tell John I will have my tea with him in the palm room.

DIANA: I've never been here before. I didn't know she was this rich.

ANNE: No wonder she has so little imagination. That's one consolation about being poor--you have to dream all this up.

SCENE: The spare bedroom.

DIANA: I wish I could go with you and help you somehow, Anne.

ANNE: Don't make me nervous. I'm trying to imagine away this horrible, fluttery feeling around my heart.

DIANA: I have faith in you. You'll pass alright.

ANNE: I'd rather not pass at all than come out somewhere in the middle. Matthew and Marilla, Miss Stacy. Everyone has such great hopes for me. It would be such a disgrace if--

DIANA: Gilbert came first?

ANNE: I suppose I'd settle for beating Gilbert Blythe, if I had to.

DIANA: Just keep thinking about Gilbert, then.

ANNE: Yes, Gilbert.

SCENE: Queens Academy classroom.

PROFESSOR: Please do not touch your papers until all the examinations have been distributed, or they will be discounted completely. You may now begin.

SCENE: Outside Queens Academy.

ANNE: Ah. For one awful moment, I felt exactly like I did three years ago when I asked Marilla if I was to stay at Green Gables.

MISS STACY: You had me worried there for a moment. I could see you turning green. Oh, but I knew you'd pull through.

ANNE: Well, pass or fail, I'm going to miss you tremendously, Miss Stacy.

MISS STACY: I want to wish you all the luck in the world, Anne Shirley. If anyone deserves to be successful, it's you. I'll be watching out for you, even from Halifax.

ANNE: So, you really are going to leave Avonlea?

MISS STACY: I have my own little set of troubles. Oh, nothing to worry about. Remember, true friends are always together in spirit.

ANNE: Thank you, Miss Stacy, for giving all of us the chance to make something of ourselves. Someone else wants to say goodbye.

MISS STACY: I want to remind you of something you once told me. Tomorrow is always fresh with no mistakes in it.

SCENE: A café/diner.

DIANA: I was born for city life.

AUNT JOSEPHINE: And what's your opinion, Anne.

ANNE: I hadn't thought seriously about it until now. I think I would probably come to the conclusion that I'd like it for a while, but in the end, I'd still prefer the sound of the wins and the birds across the brook more than the tinkering of crystal.

MADAME SELITSKY: [sings an aria, "Non mi dir, bell' idol mio" from the opera "Don Giovanni" by Mozart]

AUNT JOSEPHINE: What do you think now, Anne?

ANNE: I was wrong. I don't see how I could ever return to common life after this, Miss Barry.

SCENE: Aunt Josephine's house.

ANNE: Madame Selitsky had a definitive alabaster brow, Diana.

DIANA: Did you see Alice Bell there, parading around like she had an alabaster brow?

ANNE: If I had Alice Bell's crooked nose, I wouldn't-- Oh no, I shouldn't have said that. That's uncharitable. I was comparing it to my own nose and that is vanity. Someone complimented me on my nose long ago and I'm afraid I've thought about it far too much ever since.

AUNT JOSEPHINE: I ought to hire you as my court jester, Anne-girl.

ANNE: I wasn't meaning to be funny.

AUNT JOSEPHINE: Well, I hope you both enjoyed the matinee.

DIANA: Oh, immensely.

AUNT JOSEPHINE: And you, Anne.

ANNE: Unforgettably.

AUNT JOSEPHINE: Then you must stay with me when you come back and study.

DIANA: Maybe I'll come stay with you, too.

AUNT JOSEPHINE: You'd both be welcome! I haven't has so much fun since-- Well, never mind in how long since. I thought Marilla Cuthbert was an old fool when I'd heard that she'd adopted a little orphan girl. But I see now which of us was the old fool.

SCENE: Outside Aunt Josephine's house.

DIANA: Bye, Aunt Jo!

AUNT JOSEPHINE: Bye, girls.

ANNE: Bye, Miss Barry.

DIANA: Bye! Thank you!

ANNE: Thank you for everything!

AUNT JOSEPHINE: It was lovely having you here.

DIANA: Bye!

ANNE: Bye!

SCENE: In carriage on way home.

MR. BARRY: Hello there, Gil. You're on your way home, too?

GILBERT: Yes, sir.

MR. BARRY: Well, I wish we could offer you a ride.

GILBERT: Oh no, that's alright. I'm meeting Moody at the station. Anne, I wish you luck on the exam. I hope you come in first. You've worked hard.

ANNE: Thank you, but I'm sure the first will go to you.

GILBERT: Well, I guess we'll see, won't we.

SCENE: The Barry pond.

ANNE: Ruby, you be Elaine. You're the only one who has golden hair.

RUBY GILLIS: I couldn't lie there and pretend I was dead. I'd die of fright. Honest.

DIANA: You be Elaine, Anne. This is your idea.

ANNE: A red-haired person cannot play the Lily Maid. Tennyson would never approve.

DIANA: Your complexion is just as fair as Ruby's. And anyway, your hair's darker now than just plain old red.

ANNE: Really?

JANE ANDREWS: I'd say it's definitely auburn, and that's sort-of close to blonde.

ANNE: Well, alright. It isn't not authentic. Lay the piano cover over me.

RUBY GILLIS: Gosh, she really looks dead. I'm frightened. Mrs. Lynde says that acting is a sin.

ANNE: Ruby, keep quiet. You're spoiling the effect. Besides, this is hundreds of years before Mrs. Lynde was born. Diana, you arrange all of this. It's ridiculous for Elaine to be talking when she's supposed to be dead.

DIANA: Alright. Jane, the flowers. Now she's ready. Anne, for gosh sakes, smile a little. It says here, "Elaine lay as though she smiled." That's better. Alright, ladies. Let us send her to her watery grave.

ANNE: [reciting lines 37-41, 132, 134, 141, 143-4 from Lord Alfred Tennyson's The Lady of Shalott]

    There she weaves by night and day
    A magic web with colours gay.
    She has heard a whisper say
    A curse is on her if she stay
        To look down [on] Camelot.
    And at the closing of the day
    The broad st[r]eam bore her far away,
    And as the boat-head wound along
    They heard her singing her last song,
        The Lady of Shalott.

SCENE: On the lake shore.

JANE ANDREWS: She looked so good with her hair.

DIANA: Anne!

RUBY GILLIS: She drowning! Anne's drowning!

DIANA: We have to go get some help.

RUBY GILLIS: Anne's drowning!

ALL: [screams]

SCENE: Under the bridge.

GILBERT: Anne Shirley. What in heck are you doing?

ANNE: Fishing for lake trout.

GILBERT: For lake trout?

SCENE: The Barry house.

DIANA: Nobody's home.

RUBY GILLIS: It's too late. She's drowned and we're murderers.

DIANA: Matthew. Come on.

RUBY GILLIS: [cries]

SCENE: The Barry pond.

ANNE: Well, if you must know, I was in Diana's skiff but it sprang a leak and I had to climb onto the piling or sink. Now, if you'd be so kind as to row me to the landing.

GILBERT: Ah, I see. Well, then the fact is I rescued you.

ANNE: Help was on the way and I was calmly waiting for it.

GILBERT: You're most welcome.

ANNE: I am grateful for your assistance, Mr. Blythe, even though it was not required. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to find my friends. They are likely overcome with fear for my life.

GILBERT: Well, Anne, wait. Wait a minute. I was just down at the post office to see if the Queens results had been printed.

ANNE: Congratulations on coming first, Gilbert. I'm sure you're very proud of your achievements.

GILBERT: Wait a second, you ninny. We tied for first place. You and I. I figured you'd have it for sure. We all passed--our entire class.

ANNE: First of all two hundred?

GILBERT: I'm sorry you had to share it with me.

ANNE: I never expected to beat you.

GILBERT: Can't we be friends now? This childishness has gone on long enough, don't you think?

ANNE: The fact that you rescued me unnecessarily hardly wipes out past wrongs.

GILBERT: Look, I'm sorry I ever said anything about your hair. You have no idea how sorry. But it was so long ago. Aren't you ever going to forgive me?

ANNE: You hurt my feelings excruciatingly.

GILBERT: I only said it because I-- Because I wanted to meet you so much.

ANNE: Why did you turn your back on me at the Christmas ball?

GILBERT: Anne, that was over a year ago.

ANNE: It was a deliberate humiliation.

GILBERT: And I knew exactly what you were thinking, too, Anne Shirley. You and Diana Barry. Look, can we be friends now?

ANNE: Why don't you figure it out, if you're so clever.

GILBERT: Anne, wait a minute.

ANNE: Everyone will think I've drowned.

SCENE: Barry field.

DIANA: Oh, Anne. We thought you were dead. It was all our fault. And Ruby's having a fit. Oh, Anne, how did you ever escape?

ANNE: I climbed underneath the bridge and Gilbert Blythe came along and rowed me to shore.

JANE ANDREWS: Oh, how romantic! Of course you'll speak to him from now on.

ANNE: Of course I will not! I don't ever want to hear the word "romance" again, Jane Andrews. It's easy enough in Camelot, but it certainly isn't appreciated in Avonlea. Oh, I'm sorry I frightened everyone so. It was all my fault.

RACHEL: Well, I'm sure that John Barry will be pleased to hear that he no longer owns a dory, Anne Shirley.

MARILLA: Oh, you do beat all, girl. When are you going to have any sense?

ANNE: I think my prospects are brightening. I just saw the pass list for Queens. For better or for worse I tied, with Gilbert Blythe, for first.

MARILLA: First?

DIANA: Oh, Anne. You must be so proud.

MARILLA: I must say, you've done pretty well for yourself, Anne.

RACHEL: Well, I guess she has done well, Marilla. Far be it from me to be backwards when praise is due. You're a credit to us all and we're all proud of you.

SCENE: A bridge.

MARILLA: Woap.

GILBERT: Good afternoon, Miss Cuthbert.

MARILLA: Good afternoon.

GILBERT: I'm Gilbert Blythe.

MARILLA: Yes. You've grown into quite a young man.

GILBERT: So, you must be very proud of Anne. It's a real challenge keeping up with her at school.

MARILLA: Yes, Matthew and I are both proud. She has the talent to make something of herself. But she's still very young, Gilbert. Good afternoon.

GILBERT: Good afternoon, ma'am.


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